Christmas is Coming, my ass is getting fat...

Okay, it's really more flabby than fat, but still unattractive. Found Facebook. It's been talking with people I haven't talked to in years. A friend I haven't seen since I was 12 sent me a message! What a trip!

It will be my first year without my mommy. You never really understand the role someone plays in your life until they're gone. She was the instigator of all family parties, getting everyone together. We're going to try to keep up some traditions, but without Daddy, Wade, Mindy and Gracie, it just won't be the same.

We will be going to my in-laws for Christmas Eve for a traditional feast. Thankfully, they assigned me only the vegetable. Nothing too much to screw up. I'm grateful for my in-laws. They are good people that have welcomed me in.

Marilyn Kathleen Mordue (The Best Mommy in the World)

I miss her so much. How do you let go of your mommy? How do you go on knowing you’re not going to see her again until you die? I don’t fear death, but I’m not in a rush to get there. But with my mommy there…

Daddy is trying to soldier on. He’s doing a pretty good job, but he’s so lost. And we can only comfort him by being there. Nothing will bring her back.

I love you, mommy. I know that I will see you again on the other side. I’m grateful for that knowledge. Give Mary a hug and a kiss for me.

Fun With The Family

Went up to Bear Lake last week with Becki, Keyth and kids. We stayed in my boss, Dan's, cabin. Well, not really a cabin. It's nicer than my house, but what do you expect for a doctor and a lawyer married to each other? A shack? Anyway, we went up Wednesday and came home on Sunday. We had a great time at the beach. We had access to two boats, a tube and wake boards. Scott and Kira came up on Friday night and joined the festivities. Saturday was the busiest day and we had so much fun! Kira got to ride in a boat for the second time in her life. She also enjoyed hanging with her older cousins.

Tomorrow, we're leaving for California for a trip to see more family! Scott and I are going to spend a couple days at Disneyland and California Adventure then see my brother. We'll also see Tracy and her b-friend Dave. I'm excited!

Motorcycle Mama!

We're taking a motorcycle class! I've always loved being a passenger on motorcycles growing up. I always thought it was cool when a boyfriend had a bike. I loved riding. Alas, I never knew how to ride myself. Keli's brother tried to teach me a few years ago on his dirt bike. I just could never figure out the shifting. I mean, I know how to drive a stick shift car! Hell, I own a stick shift! But the clutch in your hand and the gear shifter at your foot? And the brake also in your hand? I hope I can get all this down! We take the classroom portion tonight and 1/2 day Saturday. The other part of Saturday is the driving portion and then we go back on Sunday for 4 hours. So, if I come back with roadrash on Monday, you'll know why! Hopefully, I won't kill myself. Evidently, if we pass the class, we can get a motorcycle endorsement up to 650 cc motorcycle. We just have to take the written portion of the test.

I guess I'm just having a mid-life crisis...

Twas a good birthday!

Scott and I went to Cherry Hills water park for my birthday. Becki and Keyth, Brooke and Brielle, Bryan and Nate Baldwin went as well. A friend of Scott's from work also came with her 3 kids. We had a blast! We went last year and had a good time so we went again!

Yesterday, we had a bbq at our house for Rob's and my birthday. It was a festive affair and there was plenty of food. My niece Kim brought her cute little baby, Ella. Dang, that girl makes cute kids! Brooke brought her boyfriend and Ellie brought hers as well. Mom made it up the stairs since her doctor told her he wanted her walking more. Course, she had the assistance of the strapping men in attendance. It was a very nice evening and I wished my other brother Wade could have been here. It would have made the evening complete.

Got some good presies from my bosses. A Cuisinart ice cream maker from Liz and a gift certificate from Dan for the Harley store. Scott and I are taking a motorcycle riding class this week. Not sure if we'll end up with a bike down the line but I've always wanted to know how to ride. Wish me luck!

In Memoriam

Today I received sad news about a friend. Her sister passed away last week. Unfortunately, she struggled with a disease I know a bit about. Depression. She got to the point of no return and decided to stop the world. She wanted to get off. They say that those who commit suicide are selfish because of the pain they inflict on those they leave behind. While I see their point, I've also been on the other side. When you are so depressed that it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, you're not thinking about how it will effect others. All you know is you want it to end. And even though she had children, I'm sure she felt that having her for a mother was only a detriment to them and that they would be better off without her. Of course, none of these things are true, but when you're so sad, it doesn't feel that way. All you know is you just want it to end and even if you're a person of faith, you feel you'll take your chances on the other side. So, I feel very hurt about my friend's pain. I knew her sister and she was a lovely girl. But unhappy.

I lost my sister and it was very tragic. But I will never struggle with whether she loved me or not, or whether I could have done something that made her leave me. I knew she loved me. She told me so in one of her last lucid moments. But the pain my friend is feeling, I can't imagine. They were identical twins. Gorgeous inside and out. But they were so quiet that some thought they were stuck up. Silly, once you get to know them. They both had self esteem issues even though they could stop traffic they were so beautiful.

But you can never know a person's true thoughts. And sometimes, you can't stop someone determined to do what they want to do. You just live with the fallout. And try to find a reason to go on.

Idaho

Went to Idaho this weekend for the wedding of my friend Cindy's son, Luke. It was in Driggs, Idaho which is not too far from Wyoming and Jackson Hole. It's a gorgeous part of the country but a hell of a long drive! And with gas at $4.00 a gallon, it really hurts. But I wouldn't have missed the wedding. Cindy is a very, very good friend of mine and I was excited to see how happy she was and how happy her son and new daughter-in-law were. It wasn't a traditional Mormon wedding in that there was a large dinner and dancing. Of course, it wasn't in a ward house either. Unfortunately, I decided to have a sugary drink about an hour before the dinner and began to "crash" on my way to the wedding. Crashing involves overheating and profuse sweating on my part. It's not pretty, but it calmed after about an hour or so.

We stayed in a "bed and breakfast" that was questionable at best. The interior hadn't been updated since about 1952. But it was clean and the town was booked, so we stayed. The town was quite charming and took me back to the early days when we would visit Salt Lake City years ago and there were farms all over. Now it's just wall to wall houses and people. Damn Californians! Just ruining the place!! ;-)

It's Friday!

Today is Friday. My third favorite day of the week. I have called in a personal day so I can mow the lawn and do random stuff. It's Scott's Friday off so he's still asleep. How do I get that schedule? Sometimes working for attorneys sucks cuz they need you there every day. Not much going on with us.

Mommy is still hurting. She said the doctor told her that she has severe arthritis in her neck and also 2 pinched nerves. Can I order a break for her from all of her physical woes? Things have been very trying for her this last year and a half.

We have a trip planned to California at the end of July to see my silly brother, his lovely wife, an even lovelier niece and my best friend, Tracy. I'm so very excited to see everyone!

A beginning

I'm new to all of this but I figure if my brother can do it, it's not rocket science! (JK) Although I don't have an adorable child to write about, hopefully, Scott and I will go on adventures that are blog worthy!

Welcome to our world!