In Memoriam

Today I received sad news about a friend. Her sister passed away last week. Unfortunately, she struggled with a disease I know a bit about. Depression. She got to the point of no return and decided to stop the world. She wanted to get off. They say that those who commit suicide are selfish because of the pain they inflict on those they leave behind. While I see their point, I've also been on the other side. When you are so depressed that it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, you're not thinking about how it will effect others. All you know is you want it to end. And even though she had children, I'm sure she felt that having her for a mother was only a detriment to them and that they would be better off without her. Of course, none of these things are true, but when you're so sad, it doesn't feel that way. All you know is you just want it to end and even if you're a person of faith, you feel you'll take your chances on the other side. So, I feel very hurt about my friend's pain. I knew her sister and she was a lovely girl. But unhappy.

I lost my sister and it was very tragic. But I will never struggle with whether she loved me or not, or whether I could have done something that made her leave me. I knew she loved me. She told me so in one of her last lucid moments. But the pain my friend is feeling, I can't imagine. They were identical twins. Gorgeous inside and out. But they were so quiet that some thought they were stuck up. Silly, once you get to know them. They both had self esteem issues even though they could stop traffic they were so beautiful.

But you can never know a person's true thoughts. And sometimes, you can't stop someone determined to do what they want to do. You just live with the fallout. And try to find a reason to go on.